What Lies in the Future

I managed to get myself to universidy today, albeit I was 40 minutes late to my first class, and ultimately did not find the classroom, and so missed my first class all the same. I was starving, so I made my way to the cafeteria and got myself something to eat and some coffee.

I spent the next two hours reading Betrayal at Krondor, finishing the book only 10 minutes ago. As I lef the cafeteria some thoughts assaulted me. I feel the same as I did in my last year of school. As if I no longer belong here, and am simply revisiting a place I would come to study. I think my time in uni is coming to an end, even though I have not finished my career. Maybe I’m just not destined to complete my studies, maybe it’s time for me to find a way to shorten them.

I also feel that with my talents and abilities, I cannot work here in Chile. Maybe I should go back to Canada, the birthland of my father, and look for opportunities there. I’m not sure what the future holds, but I think that I must decide soon, for I feel I will not be long in abandoning this road. I’ll probably talk with Xaethos about this, not with my parents just yet… not untill I have a clearer picture myself. But I do think I owe someone an explanation, so I have an important call to make after my evening classes.

I will continue to come to classes the rest of the year and try to make the best of what is left of the semester. I know I am in dire danger of fuking many of my courses for lack of attendance and dedication, but I just might scrape a pass. I know it may be important for whatever I do from here on out, as my mom told me yesterday, and that must spurr me on to finish well this semester.

That means shouldering my responsabilities and missing no classes from here on out, and that is something I have to decide firmly on, else I falter when the time comes to leave the house. I’ve been too attached to my computer so far and that’s been keeping me from living my life. I guess I realize I simply can’t walk down the path of self-destruction, because I might take down the people around me on my way.

Let’s hope that my new disposition is strengthened with my posting here, because sometimes I wonder at my ability to talk so much and never put things to action. I must mature and face the world, because the world will not come looking for me in my sheltered mind.